Okay, I think I am going to enjoy writing this post because most of the topics on this week’s episode are topics I can personally relate to.  Parenting, hijab (the headscarf) and young girls wearing the headscarf.

This week “coach’s families dealt with the American Muslim dilemma of having your girls wear hijab.  Apparently they have had their girls wear hijab since 3rd grade.  I whole heartedly support their decision and whole-heartedly disagree with Nina.  Let me explain from an Islamic point of view as well as from a Muslim American point of view.

The Islamic Point of view.

It is OBLIGATORY for Muslim women who are in puberty and sane to wear hijab. BUT Nina was right; it’s not in the Quran, just as the Quran does not tell us how to pray.  Let me explain.  Muslim takes direction on what is obligatory and what is optional in Islam from two sources.  The Quran (The holy book) and the Hadith (The sayings and actions of the Prophet Muhammad).  The Quran often only gives Muslims general instructions and the details and clarification comes from the hadith.  So sometimes God gave directions in the revelation of a verse of Quran but then pointed the people to learn the details of that direction from the Prophet (peace be upon him) directly.  An example of that is the prayer.  The Quran commands us to pray 5 times a day and it tells us which direction to pray BUT it does not tell us how to pray.  To learn this we had to turn to the actions and saying of the Prophet.

When the verse commanding the prayer was revealed the companions of the Prophet asked the Prophet how they should pray and he responded “pray as you have seen me pray” and he lead them and taught them the manner and details of the prayer.  Every professed Muslim will attest to the fact that the Prayer in certain manner is obligatory upon every Muslim, yet the details of the prayer was not revealed in the Quran but rather instructed by the Prophet.

The Hijab hold the same status in Islam.  The Clearest verse in the Quran about Hijab states in Chapter 24:  Verses 30–31.

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their khimār over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. (Quran 24:31) 

The strongest evidence in the Hadith comes from the story of Asma the sister-in-law of the prophet.  “Aisha (the wife of the Prophet) reported that Asmaa, the daughter of Abu Bakr, entered into the presence of the Messenger of Allaah wearing thin transparent clothing, So the Messenger of Allaah turned away from her saying : ‘O’ Asmaa, when a women reaches the age of menstruation, it is not allowed that any of her should be seen except this’ – and he pointed to his face and two hands.” (Sahih, reported from Abu Dawud and Al-Bayhaqee.)


Although there are many different evidence presented for different levels of Hijab, from wearing complete face veil to wearing a jilbab (over garment).  The MINIMAL accepted among scholars of Islam is that a Muslim woman must have 3 rules of dress.

  1. She must cover everything but her face and her hands
  2. Her clothes must be loose enough that it does not show her shape
  3. Her clothes must be thick enough that it is not see through


I am not debating the evidence for Jilbab (over garment) or Niqab (Face veil) that is an entirely different type of post and MUCH longer.  The above is just the bare minimal a Muslim woman must abide by.  That does not mean that a Muslim woman who does not wear hijab is not Muslim.  It does mean that a Muslim woman who does not wear hijab is sinning and will answer to her Lord accordingly.


Hijab Growing up Muslim American.

I was born and raised Muslim in America and I started wearing Hijab when I was 7 years old.  To be honest I don’t remember not wearing hijab.  I have school pictures from kindergarten with Hijab on.  It has never really been a challenge for me because it has always been apart of my wardrobe.  Just as common as choosing pants or socks my hijab has it’s own drawer in my dresser and a special hanger in my closet.  Although I am not as creative as Nawal or Suehalia with Hijab but it almost always matches the outfit.

I also started my daughter wearing hijab when she was young.  At 5 I began putting it on her when we went to

the Mosque and Islamic functions.  At 7 I began having her wear it when we left the house, but she didn’t have to wear it in when she played in the yard.  In addition she couldn’t wear shorts but I did allow short sleeves on a hot day. At 10 I required her to follow all the rules of hijab, including covering everything but her face and her hands and wearing hijab anytime she may be seen by a male who was not blood related to her.

I know that growing up a Muslim female in a country that culturally opposite to nearly every modesty rule we have can be very difficult.  That in conjunction with the normal hormones and rebellion that happens to every teenage, I felt waiting until hormones kick in with puberty would be a recipe for disaster.  Although it is only Islamicaly required when a girl reaches puberty, that is the worse time for a parent to make an Muslim American girl just start wearing it.

Puberty happens just when social pressure is at its peak and pier acceptance, self-esteem and identity are all on rollercoaster of hormones and emotions.


I feel it’s absolutely essential to allow girls to get use to wearing it before this time.  They should already have a pride in wearing hijab and being identified, as a Muslim in addition to having built up the necessary “armor” required to wear it in American society.  Even before September 11 people stared and pointed.  Now it’s even more negative attention to being so apparently identified as a Muslim.  As a Muslim women you have to develop a since of self worth and independence in mind and thought to constantly counter not just the “regular” I don’t have to be a certain way to be accepted, but also a firm “it’s okay to be who I am, believe what I believe, and act and dress accordingly”.

This attitude and confidence as a Muslim American Woman is not developed overnight.  It is taught by example.  It is taught by understanding the religion and the practical reasons behind the rules and legislation in Islam.

We can’t make our kids follow something on the “because I said so” parenting philosophy.  I encourage my kids to look at current events, social and political problems then we talk about how Islam prevents or solves those problems through practical application of its laws and legislations.  They see on their own why Islam is the truth and why we are Muslim.

As a family we have gone to Sabbath dinner at our Jewish colleagues house, Award ceremonies at a church and interfaith dialogs.  And we have discussions about what we experience after.  I always use each opportunity to discuss the differences as well as similarities between Muslims and other faiths, or Muslims and those who profess no faith.  My family have broken fast with the Iftar meal and prayed in synagogue as well as in the Sunday classroom of a church.  And I am proud that they have been allowed experiences I was not as a child.


I grew up very sheltered from all other religions, learning only about them through TV shows and lessons at the Mosque.  To some Muslims all Jews were the enemy and all Christians were going to hell.  My mother didn’t take the steps I have as a parent to have my interact with other faiths but she did talk to me a lot about the common thread and brotherhood among Muslims, Christians and Jews and even enjoyed a spirited debate with the Jehovah Witness that would stop by and invited in for tea and cake.  I remember her saying “I’ll take your brochure if you’ll take mine”.  She would exchange brochures and actually sit down and read it, then get the Quran or Hadith to see what Islam said on the same topic.


Okay that’s a bit off topic…but you get the point.  So Episode 5 gave me a lot to talk about.  And even though there is still much about the show that irritates me at times it has given me good topics to blog about and share my opinion.



14 thoughts on “Episode 5 – “The Quran doesn’t say wear hijab”….????

  1. Although I am not Muslim, I agree whole-heartedly that waiting to teach modesty in the teen years is a bad idea. Instilling values and expectations early is how we do things in our house, as well.

    I thoroughly enjoyed your post and found it to be very educational.

    1. Concerning “he strongest evidence in the Hadith comes from the story of Asma the sister-in-law of the prophet. ect.”
      According to this site: “https://islamqa.info/en/23496” the quoted hadith is Da’If and should not be used as evidence.
      Don’t know if this is true though.

  2. The term jilbāb or jilbaab (Arabic جلباب) is the plural of the word jilaabah which refers to any long and loose-fit coat or garment worn by some Muslim women. They believe that this definition of jilbab fulfills the Quranic demand for a Hijab. Jilbab or Jilaabah is also known as Jubbah or Manteau (which is the French word for coat or mantle).

    The modern jilbāb covers the entire body, except for hands, face, and head. The head and neck are then covered by a scarf or wrap


    khimar (n.)

    1.a headscarf worn by observant Muslim women that hangs down to just above the waist. Salam I was reading what you had to say as I would like to say yes ir does say Hijab in the Quran the tranlahion of Khimar and Jilbab mean just that.

  3. Masha’Allah! This is an excellent commentary on hijab. Like you, I have been watching All-American Muslim, but missed this particular episode. From an Islamic perspective, there are positive and negative actions exhibited by the people on the show. I pray that the positive outweighs the negative and brings greater insight to non-Muslims, as well as provide an opportunity for dawah.

    Faith comes by degree, and everything we do as Muslims is supposed to be to worship Allah and seek His good pleasure. This includes wearing hijab, which is an act of faith. It is important for us to be conscious and clear of our intentions as much as possible.

    Please keep up the great work and jazak’Allahu khairan for sharing your light and knowledge.

  4. Asalaamu Alaikum Sister Mubarakah,

    I think the show “All American Muslim” is stirring up a lot of strong feelings in our community. Unfortunately, as most of know, this show cannot be the end-all, be-all for American Muslims. While Nina comments may throughly irk the mess of out of lot a folks, the reality is we got a whole lot of folks like her in our community. We run the gamut from being very observant in Islam and to those deviating from the straight path to achieve the material awards in the dunya-in Nina’s (really, you gone open a bar in the heart of a Muslim community-you just asking for an express ticket to the hellfire!!).

    The reality is whether we like or not, Muslims got issues just like our non-Muslims counterparts, we just hide it better! The other piece of this concern is that with Islamophobia being a trend in politics and the media, Muslims want to do damage control whenever possible to avoid exacerbating negative stereotyping that is commonplace.

    Because we simply don’t have enough media depictions of Muslim family life in America, there is a tendency for Muslims to get angry because whatever is being depicted is not overly religious, ritually authentic or simply not culturally relevant- which is how I feel about a great of what’s depicted in this show. All at the same time, I feel that there has to be start somewhere. One thing that is not common knowledge is that all of the families depicted on this show are Shiite-which lends to cases where a families are not adhering to the Sunnah.This is where the diverse depiction of Muslim Americans is key-so folks cannot say apply a “one size fits all” understanding based on what they see in this show.

    A prime example of this was when the Cosby Show made its debut on TV. A lot of Black folks were upset because they felt like the Huxtables didn’t represent all realities of Blacks in America- but neither did Good Times? The reality was that Black experience in America is the Huxtables and the Evanses and everything in between. The same applies for American Muslim

    In order to capture the vast spectrum of how Muslims live in America, we have to the courage to create and advocate for these opportunities. With that said, you may want to consider making “Keeping Up with the Ibrahims” the next show that TLC or another channel to be featured Inshallah!

    Keep making the ummah shine Mashallah,
    Sis. Tiffany
    South Carolina

  5. Quran does not mention anywhere how to pray, it does however ask you to pray, daily. There is not one single hadith in the whole universe that tells you how a prayer is formed. If there was, I am throwing a 100 GBP bounty sent to paypal to whom ever can find this hadith!

    No joke! I am paying anyone who can find a single hadith (Bukhari or Muslim Sahihayen) where it mentions how a prayer is done.

    A prayer is passed from Ibrahim (PBUH) down to our prophet. People prayed like us before Islam came into effect, believe it or not. Just google how people prayed before islam and you will understand!

    1. You can send my money to paypal address info@balanceCT.com

      Sahih Bukhari
      Volume 1, Book 12, Number 704:
      Narrated Abu Qilaba:
      I saw Malik bin Huwairith saying Takbir and raising both his hands (on starting the prayers and raising his hands on bowing and also on raising his head after bowing. Malik bin Huwairith said, “Allah’s Apostle did the same.”
      Volume 1, Book 12, Number 705:
      Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar:
      I saw Allah’s Apostle opening the prayer with the Takbir and raising his hands to the level of his shoulders at the time of saying the Takbir, and on saying the Takbir for bowing he did the same; and when he said, “Sami a-l-lahu Liman hamida “, he did the same and then said, “Rabbana wa laka-l-hamd.” But he did not do the same on prostrating and on lifting the head from it.”
      Volume 1, Book 12, Number 706:
      Narrated Nafi’:
      Whenever Ibn ‘Umar started the prayer with Takbir, he used to raise his hands: whenever he bowed, he used to raise his hands (before bowing) and also used to raise his hands on saying, “Sami a-l-lahu Liman hamida”, and he used to do the same on rising from the second Rak’a (for the 3rd Rak’a). Ibn ‘Umar said: “The Prophet used to do the same.”
      Sahih Muslim
      Book 004, Number 0759:
      Ibn Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), when he stood up for prayer, used to raise his hands apposite the shoulders and then recited takbir (Allah-o-Akbar), and when he was about to bow he again did like it and when he raised himself from the ruku’ (bowing posture) he again did like it, but he did not do it at the time of raising his head from prostration.
      Book 004, Number 0762:
      Malik b. Huwairith reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) raised his hands apposite his ears at the time of reciting the takbir (i. e. at the time of beginning the prayer) and then again raised his hands apposite the ears at the time of bowing and when he lifted his head after bowing he said: Allah listened to him who praised Him, and did like it (raised his hands up to the ears).
      Muwatta Imam Malik
      Book 3, Number 3.5.21:
      Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Salim ibn Abdullah that Abdullah ibn Umar used to say “Allah is greater” in the prayer whenever he lowered himself and raised himself.
      Yahya related to me from Malik from Nafi that Abdullah ibn Umar used to raise his hands to the level of his shoulders when he began the prayer and when he raised his head from the ruku he would raise them less than that.
      Book 3, Number 3.5.17:
      Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Salim ibn Abdullah from Abdullah ibn Umar that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to raise his hands to the level of his shoulders when he began the prayer and when he raised his head from the ruku he raised them in the same way, saying, “Allah hears whoever praises him, our Lord and praise belongs to You.” He did not raise them in the sujud.
      Book 3, Number 3.5.18:
      Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab that AIi ibn Husayn ibn Ali ibn Abi Talib said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to say, ‘Allah is greater’ whenever he lowered himself and raised himself, and he continued to pray like that until he met Allah.”
      Abu Dawood
      Book 3, Number 0725:
      Narrated Wa’il ibn Hujr:
      I purposely looked at the prayer of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him), how he offered it. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) stood up, faced the direction of the qiblah and uttered the takbir (Allah is most great) and then raised his hands in front of his ears, then placed his right hand on his left (catching each other).
      When he was about to bow, he raised them in the same manner. He then placed his hands on his knees. When he raised his head after bowing, he raised them in the like manner. When he prostrated himself he placed his forehead between his hands.
      He then sat down and spread his left foot and placed his left hand on his left thigh, and kept his right elbow aloof from his right thigh. He closed his two fingers and made a circle (with the fingers).
      I (Asim ibn Kulayb) saw him (Bishr ibn al-Mufaddal) say in this manner. Bishr made the circle with the thumb and the middle finger and pointed with the forefinger.
      Book 3, Number 0743:
      Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib:
      When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) stood for offering the obligatory prayer, he uttered the takbir (Allah is most great) and raised his hands opposite to his shoulders; and he did like that when he finished recitation (of the Qur’an) and was about to bow; and he did like that when he rose after bowing; and he did not raise his hands in his prayer while he was in his sitting position.
      When he stood up from his prostrations (at the end of two rak’ahs), he raised his hands likewise and uttered the takbir (Allah is most great) and raised his hands so as to bring them up to his shoulders, as he uttered the takbir in the beginning of the prayer.
      Placing of Hands
      Sahih Bukhari
      Volume 1, Book 12, Number 771:
      Narrated ‘Abdullah bin Malik bin Buhaina:
      Whenever the Prophet used to offer prayer he used to keep arms away (from the body) so that the whiteness of his armpits was visible.
      Sahih Muslim
      Book 004, Number 0792:
      Wa’il b. Hujr reported: He saw the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) raising his hands at the time of beginning the prayer and reciting takbir, and according to Hammam (the narrator), the hands were lifted opposite to ears. He (the Holy Prophet) then wrapped his hands in his cloth and placed his right hand over his left hand. And when he was about to bow down, he brought out his hands from the cloth, and then lifted them, and then recited takbir and bowed down and when (he came back to the erect position) he recited:” Allah listened to him who praised Him.” And when prostrates. He prostrated between the two palms.
      Abu Dawood
      Book 3, Number 0756:
      Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib:
      Jarir ad-Dabbi reported: I saw Ali (Allah be pleased with him) catching hold of his left hand) by his right hand on the wrist above the navel.
      Book 3, Number 0758:
      Narrated Tawus:
      The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) used to place his right hand on his left hand, then he folded them strictly on his chest in prayer.
      Saying Ameen Louder
      Sahih Bukhari
      Volume 6, Book 60, Number 2:
      Narrated Abu Huraira:
      Allah’s Apostle said, “When the Imam says: ‘Ghair-il-Maghdubi ‘Alaihim Walad-Dallin (i.e. not the path of those who earn Your Anger, nor the path of those who went astray (1.7)), then you must say, ‘Ameen’, for if one’s utterance of ‘Ameen’ coincides with that of the angels, then his past sins will be forgiven.”
      Sayings of Our Imams
      1) Abu Haneefah (rahimahullaah)
      “When a hadeeth is found to be saheeh, then that is my madhhab.”
      “When I say something contradicting the Book of Allaah the Exalted or what is narrated from the Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), then ignore my saying.”
      2) Maalik ibn Anas (rahimahullaah)
      “Truly I am only a mortal: I make mistakes (sometimes) and I am correct (sometimes). Therefore, look into my opinions: all that agrees with the Book and the Sunnah accept it; and all that does not agree with the Book and the Sunnah, ignore it.”
      3) Shaafi’i (rahimahullaah)
      “If you find in my writings something different to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), then speak on the basis of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), and leave what I have said.”
      4) Ahmad ibn Hanbal (rahimahullaah)
      “The opinion of Awzaa’i, the opinion of Maalik, the opinion of Abu Haneefah: all of it is opinion, and it is all equal in my eyes. However, the proof is in the narrations (from the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) and his Companions).”

  6. Sister I find it striking that you would use the Quran to make your point and then go against it by using hadith as though the hadith carry any actual weight. Allah tells the women to cover their bossom. NOT the hair. Hair isn’t mentioned at all by Allah. Therefore it can not be made mandatory by some 2nd hand source the prophet didn’t hear of nor approve as he was long dead before their compilation. The hadith don’t explain the Quran and I’m sorry if you feel that way. Allah tells the messenger that he is only a warner and that HE, ALLAH, is the teacher of the book. Scholars have no right to impose what Allah never did. Allah said he left nothing out of this book and that’s it’s perfect and complete. I hope I’ve not offended you and that you rely on Allah for your understanding and not humans with an agenda who clearly have taken the Quran as something with no weight.


  7. assalamualaykum

    I just encountered your article and i love it. As an indonesian girl whose islam is a majority we live very familiar with the rituals here. There is parapdox tho in indonesia even our majority is moslem there are actually alot of girls without khimar. Khimar became sort of assimilate to the culture where we used it when we go out but not in home even there are people coming over. Or we used it in ied fitr but not in everyday live. The stage of people faith clearly shown. It relates to how educated people are, i think. More educated you are the sense of respecting each other became bigger, but in some secluded area whatever the majority is they sometime not used to minority, i believe. And i think here even moslem is the majority but because of the geography of indonesia as an achipelago you couldnt assume it all same. On some area are all chistrians, or all moslems, and any other religions too. Here religion,politics and economy are melt together and i think thats became a propaganda for some people.
    I hope as moslem here in indonesia we can really take an example from people who lived as minortiy where the are bound visible and respects also dignity that shone trough.

    Sorry for my language- and it kinda out of topic


  8. Assalam alaikum please can you give the reference for the conditions you have mentioned above about hijab

    ” The MINIMAL accepted among scholars of Islam is that a Muslim woman must have 3 rules of dress.

    She must cover everything but her face and her hands
    Her clothes must be loose enough that it does not show her shape
    Her clothes must be thick enough that it is not see through”
    Please reply because I have to answer someone

  9. The problem that we encounter is that we allow so called “islamic authorities” to tell us what we should do instead of understanding what Allah is telling us. Allah does not tell women to cover their hair. We must remember that Allah does not run out of words. Bringing hadith to try and prove a point is very weak and invalid. Allah has stated that the Quran is what we should use when making religious commandments. Books that have been written by humans should in no way be used to enforce ANY type of religious doctrine. Allah says he has PERFECTED our system. That in and of itself should be the reason we rely on Allah alone.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s